Blue Eyes and Red Dirt

   I woke up yesterday morning and I had some quiet time with Jesus. I was really going to need His strength to get through the day. Yesterday was my last day at Smile Africa. As I got ready for the day, I just kept trying to figure out how I was going to say good-bye to my little Bogere. All of our memories began to flood my mind, all the things that have happened and all that we have been through...it really feels like he is my son.

   I was all ready for the day and I started my last walk to Smile. I stopped at Rachelle's place to say good-bye to her and her family. I was going to miss them very much.

   Finally I arrived at Smile Africa. I cannot even express to you the emotions that I was feeling. I went to the baby room and the office to give the staff a little present before I left. I said my good-byes to everyone early in the day because I knew that I was going to be busy. I heard my name being called out, and there was Betty running to me. I smiled at her and picked her up and she leapt into my arms.

   I then walked to my sweet Caleb. When he saw, me laughed and came running to me. I picked him up and through him in the air. I am really going to miss those greetings in the morning. There is nothing else like it in the world. Soon after that, Bogere came running over to me. I gave my boy lots of hugs. The 4 of us walked around Smile and just talked and laughed. When it was lunch time I decided to take the kids over to Rachelle's house. They all got to play with Rachelle's kids and I got to say good-bye to them one more time.

   Pastor Ruth picked us up from Rachelle's house and took us back to Smile Africa. When we arrived I saw a lot of women sitting down under the shed. When I walked over, they all began to yell and cheer for me. I couldn't believe it. They sang and danced just for me. These women were all so beautiful. Those women are some of the widows that Smile Africa helps support. When they finished their dancing, they gave me gifts that they had made. It was so special. These women took time and money that they have worked hard for, to give me a present as I leave. All of them expressed to me how I was their daughter and how much they loved me. They also said how they were going to miss me and it was sad to see me go. It was so touching. I hugged every single woman as she left.

   I got to spend a lot of time with all of my children yesterday. I was with Betty, Bogere, and Caleb most of the day. We played together, and we ate dinner together, we had a great time. We have really become a family. I cannot even imagine life without these children. 

   As we were playing and running around, I heard my name being called by Michael. So I ran over to see what was going on. I ran over to the van and then I saw him...my heart was racing and I was breathing heavy....it was Bogere's step father. The man that had killed Bogere's mother and had threatened to kill Bogere, was standing right in front of me. I could not believe what I was seeing. Immediately I looked for Bogere and I saw that he was staying far away, which was good. I went over and asked Ruth what this man wanted. She told me that he had come to bring oranges for the children. I have to say I was not thrilled about this idea, but we took the oranges and sent him on his way. That was an interesting element to the day.

   After that moment I put Caleb to sleep. After dinner and much running around with Bogere and Betty it was time to say good-bye. This was going to be the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I took Bogere away from the other children so I could talk to him. I took deep breathes to keep myself from crying. I got down on my knees so that I could be on his level. I told him that I was leaving now and that I loved him very much. I expressed to him how proud I was of him and that I knew he was going to be a good boy. For that whole speech I was totally calm and there were no tears,yet. Bogere looked at me and I saw tears flooding his eyes. His speech was breaking due to the crying, but he looked at me with tears and said, 

"You're coming back though right?"

   My heart just about split open. I pulled him close to me and held him tight. I said, 

"Of course I'm coming back! Nothing could keep me away from you. Bogere, I love you so much."

As he was crying and holding onto my neck, he said, 

"I love you too."

   I then said good-bye to Betty as well. I told her how special she was and how I was going to miss her. I told her that she is a beautiful girl and I love her very much. Betty was crying hard and she said, 

"You will love me forever?"

I said, "Yes Betty! Forever and ever! And I'm coming back to see you, so don't worry!"

   Sadly, it was time to go. I gave them each another hug and then I got in the van. I looked out the back window of the van as we were leaving. I saw Bogere and Betty just standing there watching the car drive away. I looked out the back window and cried. I watched them until I couldn't see them anymore. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I drove away from the boy who has become my son and has stolen my heart. Both of those children are my family and leaving them was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. 

   As we were driving, flashbacks of the times we have had together just fled my mind. Some of the things that we have been through even made me smile. Although it was heartbreaking and tears were flowing, I couldn't help but laugh about all the stuff that we have been through while I have been here in Tororo. 

   Even now, as I write this blog this morning, my heart breaks, but I smile. Bogere is such a special boy. God called me to Tororo for one boy, this boy. The things that we have gone through in just 2 weeks, most people wont go through in a life time. The 4 months that I have been here in Tororo have been the best 4 months of my life. I have learned so much and I have grown a lot, both emotionally and spiritually. 

   When I came to Tororo, I came with a dream. My dream was that LOVE would heal Bogere's heart. That through love, he would become healthy and stable and be able to live at Smile Africa as one of the best behaved boys. That dream, that prayer, came true. We reached that dream together. People had even said that I was wasting my time. They told me that Bogere was a terrible boy and that he would never amount to anything. I wonder what they will say now. Bogere is going to be a doctor one day. Maybe my boy that "wouldn't amount to anything" will save their life one day. 

   My time with Bogere will change my life forever. I am very proud of the boy that Bogere has become. We have been through so much, and we have come so far.  The enemy wanted to see us fall, but we stood strong and we reached our dreams together. 

   My heart will never forget the things these Blue Eyes have seen...and my feet will forever be stained by the Red Dirt.